28~ everyone has his/her episodes

I have no classes today, and all I did was I bummed in front of my computer. I didn’t have any clear thought of what I had to do, but the day passed me by and nothing good was accomplished.

I wanted to be so sarcastic to myself that there will surely come a time that I’ll feel so critical of myself and it might force me to give up.

Why is it so hard for people to understand me? I’m not even building up barriers.

And to think that I’m twisted by default makes it all the more hard.

I would hate it if October comes fast because I will only feel emotional and agitated.

The people around me drive me crazy. I don’t think I’ll be able to grow up as long as I keep on thinking of them with the mental capacity of an 8-year old. I don’t know too if I’ll be able to have a life, a real life once I graduate from college. I’M ONLY STUDYING FOR THE SAKE OF THE DIPLOMA. Too bad, even if I think that I somehow have confidence in myself, I won’t do good.

Just like life. I live for the sake of living it. Now I realized that my optimism is a bit shallow and superficial.